Bookmarked?! Well hot damn!

It appears that I've had another anonymous commenter come and go like a ship in the night. But... oh! WAIT UP! This commenter has plans to stay. He/she wants to put up his/her feet up in Miss Nihilist's lovely bed and breakfast, and indulge in some snarkitude. What in the hell am I talking about, you're probably thinking, and I'll tell you:

I'VE BEEN BOOKMARKED!

Did you hear that? That was me squuuuueeeeeeing all around the block. I realize now, looking at the word "squuuuueeeeeing", it appears as if I was doing an extremely lengthy pee, but squeeeing is a good thing, I swear. SQUEE is the ultimate in excitement. Yes, I know it seems shocking and impossible that I am capable of getting excited and willingly emitting sounds such as "squee"--considering that I write as if I have a permanent frown tattooed on my face--but quiet in the peanut gallery, would ya?

So this particular commenter not only said that I've been bookmarked (squee! I can't even write bookmarked without squeeeeing), he/she also said that I was cute (let's face it, I am), that he/she was a fan, and that I've gained his/her love. Actually, what he/she wrote is:

You've gained my love, love.

Now, I don't know what it says about me that I am actually more excited by the fact that I was called "love" by someone on the internet than about the bookmarked part but there ya go. Because the "love" sentiment causes me to think up elaborate fantasies where my commenter is from the UK, and will help teach me new british words and.... oh gasp.... could possibly be the queen! Okay, okay, now I'm running away with delusional thoughts again. The queen has better things to do than read my blog, she's probably off perfecting her wave and learning how best to pair plaids with her crown or something. But still.... yay!

Anyway, now I digress. But the bookmarking has me thrilled because I've never been bookmarked before and I'd like to think of bookmarking as the ultimate in blogginess. It's a relationship of sorts, and I'm going to do my best to deliver. However, if you do break up with me (ie: unbookmark me), please tell me so that I can go eat an entire box of cookies in despair and cry about what I did wrong. Until of course, I ultimately realize that this is the internet and I'm not a pathetic bumhole (at least not about this) and bounce back better than ever. In the meantime, welcome! Here's a welcome gift:

You play your cards right and maybe you'll even get the matching one! Yes, I'm not above throwing out gimmicky gifts in order to keep my readers--it's better that you know this about me now. I have no shame.

Now onto the meat of things: I recently got an iphone. UH OH! Cue the sound of impending yuppie-itude. I imagine it sounds something like this: meowscratchuhdudblechpumpboo...


Now, as much as it pains me to admit it, I LOVE my iphone. I loooooooovvvveeee my iphone. If I was a man, then the next logical step would be to wear Ben Sherman shirts and sip little itty bitty expressos from Starbucks, while taplaptappity on my imac pro or ibook or whatever new "i" product apple has come up with. As it stands, I'm not a man so I can't get my breasts buttoned into ben sherman shirts, I don't understand the concept of expressos, and I have absolutely no desire to have an i-whatever (which is tad ironic considering I'm talking about having an iphone but I'm not above hypocrisy either).

So I was all concerned about becoming a yuppie. That is until I learned all the requirements of being a yuppie. Young...okay, check...kinda. Getting older by the day and desperately worried about being so over the hill that I don't even remember being on the hill... but check. Not afraid to flaunt my new goods and wealth in a fashion that is particularly irritating... does writing a blogpost about my new iphone count? Don't answer that...check. Wealthy and has a high-paying job....and this is where me and yuppie divide and never shall the two meet. Wealthy?! HA! High-paying job! HA! I'd laugh but I'm too busy crying.

I haven't become one of those people that are glued to their iphone... yet. I give you explicit and express permission to poke me with some chopsticks and dress me in snakeskin if I never get to that point. But I love having the internet at my fingertips. If I'm watching TV and I see an actress that looks vaguely familiar, I can boot up imdb on my phone and see that the actress played sorority girl #3 on that made for tv movie that I watched last year when I was in a existential funk. Look at how much more knowledgeable my phone makes me! Gives me info that I would have not otherwise known. Why burden yourself with information about human rights issues in Uganda when you can know who played Sorority Girl #3 in Midnight Meat Train? However, I do assauge my guilt somewhat by knowing that I can google current affairs on my iphone as easily as I can google sorority girl #3. And I do! Or, I will! I swear.