Oh happy day! Oh, Oh, Oh, happy day!

Divorce and Seperation is the new "IT" thing! It is the new black!

So, what happened to the good old days where people were married for years upon years? I understand that it still happens but it seems so rare since everywhere you go, cries of "divorce", "seperation" and words similar have become the new catchphrase. Everyone is getting divorced! Everyone is getting seperated! Couples are breaking up and hooking up instead with their neighbours, best friends, brothers, sisters, cousins, and perhaps even Fido, the neighbour's dog. Staying together has become the rarity. Divorce has become the norm.

Don't misunderstand me, I am not against divorce; I have seen many marriages endure well past their expiration date. I am, however, against the idea of divorce as an easy solution. Marriage is no longer sacred, it has become overrated and passe. It is ironic that marriage has become, to those who are able to be married, a "thing to do". It has become less meaningful and less of a testament to two people's love, devotion and loyalty. That fact is evident in the statistics regarding infidelity. Yet, it seems that those couples who still see marriage as a testament to love and loyalty, are those who are unable to legally marry. Homophobes are outraged at the idea of same-sex marriage, using religious bigotry to justify their inane opinions of intolerance. They claim that same-sex marriage ruins the sanctity of marriage. Correct me if I am wrong, but getting married twice, three, four, insert number here of times, also ruins the sanctity of marriage. But yet, straight couples can get divorced and seperate as easily as breathing simply because there is a man and a woman in the union. I don't think same-sex marriage is ruining the sanctity of marriage; divorce and multiple marriages is, regardless of whether those marriages happen between same-sex couples or a man and a woman.

Vows have become meaningless. "Promise to love and cherish?". Nah, only until the next piece of ass comes along. Couples no longer want to fight to stay together, not when divorce is as easy as signing a piece of paper. Is it no wonder that I have spent my entire life thinking that marriage is overrated? Marriage doesn't signify eternal love and devotion to the majority of the public. It signifies false boasting and public envy when women get obsessed with the size of their diamonds, and the extravagance of their wedding day, and when men feel that it is time to "settle down". Sometimes it happens simply because a couple have been together "that" amount of time, or a pregnancy happens, or a partner wants a baby, or various other reasons that I couldn't even comprehend. But sometimes, marriage happens between two people for the right reasons. Two people decide to get married because they love one another, and are devoted to one another, and want to spend the rest of their lives together as partners. And it is those couples who keep marriage sacred. It is those same couples who make me believe in enduring love and marriage. It is those couples who make me think that perhaps marriage isn't so overrated afterall.

"Hardcore kids are definitely not as enlightened as they like to think they are".

Truer words have never been spoken.

Say What?

So the following is an excerpt from a blog called Tip or Tat. It is written by a NY waitress who blogs about celebrities who don't tip and those who do, as well as celebrities who are polite (and who aren't) to their servers.

"I promised many servers that I would write this. Today is a quick lesson in tipping. Now, since I was a server, I know I can be a bit of an over tipper. But this is how I've taught even my parents how to tip. Start a 20%. Work up or down based on service. For example, if it was not so good, tip 15%. If it was awful, well you decide. If it was the best service you've ever had, maybe go up to 25%. Just please do not start your guideline at 15%."

Now, forgive me if I am wrong but I was under the impression that tips weren't mandatory. Tips are contingent on good service. But I am supposed to give some waitress/waiter who forgets my drinks, doesn't give me clean utensils, isn't around to serve me at all, or any other mishaps that happen and have happened at restaurants, a 15% tip? And for good service (which is expected in order to be deserving of a tip), 20-25% is the norm? That is 1/4 of your meal. Unless you are rolling in cash, that is a pretty penny. For those prices, you might as well pay for your server to eat your meal. And your server better be at your beck and call for the entire duration of your dinner because unless he/she is attached to your hip during your dinner, the 5 minutes where your server takes your orders, gives your drinks, refills your drinks, gives your meal, and takes your plates, isn't worth paying 125% for your dinner.

The same blogger praises celebrities who leave $40 tips for $24 meals. That isn't good tipping. That is just throwing your money around because you can. There is a difference. I have never been a waitress and perhaps I don't know the first thing about how hard it is to be a waitress. But I am also of the opinion that if you are a terrible waitress, and you can't hack it, you deserve poor tips and probably should be in a new occupation because clearly serving is not your forte. Good waitresses deserve to be tipped well because they give good service. That is the bottom line; you don't deserve a tip simply because you are a waitress. If that was the case, I would tip the grocery boy for handing me my groceries with such flourish.

Waitresses who act like they deserve tips need a huge wake up call. I am not going to give you money simply because you take my order and place the food on my table. I am going to tip you because you are polite and remember my orders, and fulfill any requests I might ask of you. I understand that some restaurants pool their money together and servers have to share their tips with others. But, why should I be expected to give an extra 10% to pay for people who didn't serve me, who never had any impact on the quality of my service? If you have to share your tips, and at the end of the day don't have that much to take home, perhaps you should be looking to work at a different restaurant. One that doesn't rip you off.

The same blogger is of the opinion that if you want to eat out, you should be able to afford all the related costs regardless of how expensive it is. However, I am of the opinion that if you want to eat out at a restaurant, anyone reserves the right to do so. Not just those who can "afford" to give their servers an additional 170% tip (as evidenced by the celebrity who left $40 on a $24 tip and was proclaimed a wonderful tipper).

Servers should understand that tipping is contigent on service. If you give me bad service, I will tip you equally as bad, if at all. I believe that good service should be rewarded on a monetary level, but it is a courtesy to the server who made your restaurant experience "delightful"; it should not be a given expectation, nor should it be a mandatory part of eating out. You give me service, I will give you money. It is a symbiotic relationship, not a one sided dependent one with expectations.

July 2006 in Review

July 2006. Ah, what a month. What a marvelous month! And why? Because it follows June and precedes August, that is why. So here to recap this wonderful month that comes after May, and is still before September and October, here are the top 7 things that happened in July:

1) The release of the highest awaited album of the year!
2) Vans Warped Tour. Rise Against, Gym Class Heroes, Alexisonfire,
3) BBB's! What could that stand for? Bed and Breakfasts, and bacon? Broke Back Buns? Bum Bun Bunks? Best Buds Borever? Or, it could stand for Best Bud's Birthday! Hah! BFF! BBF!
4) The creation and start of this beautiful, thought-provoking and life-changing (for you readers) blog!
5) I showered 31 times. One for each day in July. Possibly even more! Clean as a rubber duckie. You could eat out of my armpits.
6) I bonded with my boss over bacon. So BBB again! Bacon Boss Bonding!
7) The release of the new rise against album (this warrants two top 7 spots).
8) *just because I can add an eighth top thing on my top 7 list*, the release of Cobra Starship's "Snake on a Plane". "Oh, I'm ready for it, c'mon bring it!".

So, you look at people sometimes and think that they are exactly like everyone else. They all exhibit the same mannerisms and behavior. You watch them and think that everyone is alike in their pursuit of "fitting in". People talk louder when they are in crowds, laugh more boisterously, and become carbon copies of each other because they are all alike in their desire to be liked. Independence and uniqueness becomes an allusion because even those who attempt to be different, become lumped in with others who attempt to be different. Like those who dress goth, or become hardcore punk, complete with the mohawks and the piercings, and the numerous patches, they all look like the person beside them who is also attempting to broadcast their departure away from the norm, and status quo, thus establishing their own "underground" status quo by doing so. They are only molding themselves to underground conceptions of "cool", stripping them of their own uniqueness and making them another face in the crowd. Whether it is a yuppie Club Monaco crowd, or a avant-garde artsy fartsy one, or even a heavy duty old-school punk Casualties-loving one, each different group perpetuates their own stereotypes since most of their members look identical and strive to copy the same wardrobe, mannerisms, and ways of behaving in public. However, if uniqueness is an allusion, then I too, am a carbon copy of others around me and am no better than those I am writing about. So therein lies the second point of my post; perhaps uniqueness is not an allusion but lies with those who can see past the "social identity" and carbon copy surface, and see the uniqueness that lies not necessarily in one's personality and appearance, but in the heart and soul. Once the social identity is taken away, that is when the person becomes unique. The trick is being able to see the uniqueness under the facade of "personal identity". Our identities are not unique, but our hearts and souls are. And it's rare to be able to find that heart and soul lying under someone's external self, but it happens occasionally through a lifetime. So to those of you who are reading my blog, thank you for being able to see my uniqueness; I hope I re-pay the favour each and every day.

Amateur Poetry from people I used to know....

I've got a cocktail weinie in my pants,
He wants to come out and dance!
Maybe he will do the fox trot,
As he gets closer and closer to your crotch.
He wants to get to know you better,
He wants to get inside your sweater.
I asked him what he wants to do,
He said he wants to get inside of you.
Oh baby, come play with my weinie,
If you don't, I will become a meanie.
The weinie is going to blow,
So don't you be too slow...
Or I will be forced to let my little pickle,
Let out a great white trickle
On my HAND...

And yet another one....

Laura Ly is honestly one of the coolest in the country
But on a list, unfortunately, she ranks one under me
For I have seen the end of times in which I paint
And will coach little kids basketball, make them work, and make them faint
But on the side I work at rogers video
And get free dvd’s with surround sound stereo
And little Laura works all day, while Jay mostly has play
In more ways than I can say – just kidding – eh
But rockmelon keeps striving and surviving
Contriving, and diving into her life that is spiraling
Listening to guys that have one extra finger
Who play good music with their good lead singer
So Ms. Ly still takes one title
Who can tell? - “Well,” said Jay, “I’ll tell.”
She is the rockmelon with whom no one can compete
Honey dew, cantelope, and watermelon – we can eat
And she undeniably rocks them all
And from there – indeed – from there, she can never fall.

"Someday maybe somebody will love me like I need. Someday I won't have to prove, 'cause somebody will see, my worth".

What do you do when you have writer's block and can't think of things to write? Why, you steal other people's lines and words. Easy. And brilliant. Where is my pulitzer prize goddamit?!!!

That's It! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!

So, what are you supposed to do if you are discontent with your life? If you spend 8 hours a day, doing absolutely nothing at your job? Feeling unsatisified, unfulfilled, and a plethora of other un-words? Praying for a toilet seat to come hurdling towards you from outerspace? Analyzing various trigger words like "bomb", "murder", "revenge" and "grapes" as warning words in e-mails that you are going to lose it on your co-workes? Surrounded by so much white paper and fake lighting that you are going blind? What do you do if you have nothing else better to do?

Easy.

You start a blog.