I'd prefer a werewolf roommate.

Hey… it’s Nos-Chin. Sigh.

I used to love my home, you know? For the most part, it was fairly quiet (except when those bozos were yapping about “me this” and “me that”), and I got a good mix of sun and shade. I could walk around in my underwear, sometimes in the nude…. Things were good.

And then he happened.

Johann.

And now I’ve got a bloody roommate. So long nude walking! So long open masturbation! Bye-bye loud belching! I protested this new development quite loudly to the bozos but apparently, since I don’t actually pay rent, I have no say on what goes in the home. *cough*BULLSHIT*cough*. I don’t pay rent but they get their token Chinese vampire; I get an empty home – good trade, right? At least I thought so.

Now, I could have been open about this new roommate business if Johann was a cool jock who wanted to kick back and drink some blood, watch some football. Maybe cry while watching the Titanic. But no, Johann is none of those things. Why? Well…..

Johann is German. And knows very few English words. In fact, I’d be surprised if he knew more than 1 word! Because all day long, I hear “ja? Ja. Ja?”. Do you have any idea how annoying that is? JA? JA? I want to shake him! I want to kick him! I want to beat him with a chopstick!

JA?

There are 24 other letters of the alphabet Johann! I wish you’d learn them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!