String doesn't regenerate, nor does it discriminate!

So it’s me. Nos-Chin. I haven’t been around for a while, I know. It’s been a crazy ride these last few weeks.

First, I got stuck in the car oven for what seemed like years. I think I singed part of my brain away which really frustrates me. For starters, string does not regenerate. I’ve lost valuable neurons and brain connections. Sometimes when I am counting, I blank out. It becomes “1…2….3……8?” This really alarms me. I’ve only been able to count until 12 on a good day, so it appears I have lost 5 good numbers right there! I have it on good authority that women like men with smarts and I am starting to get worried that Nos-Chin just won’t be able to compete. Secondly, my head is the size of an acorn. If I’ve singed part of my brain off….HOW MUCH BRAIN DO YOU THINK I HAVE LEFT?!!!! Not cool, not cool.

Second, I got transferred to a temporary home for a while. It was an interesting experience. It certainly smelled differently where I was. Kinda like spring rolls. Which was fine because Nos-Chin likes his Chinese…er….Hong Kong…. Er…Malaysian…er….Thailand….er…. ASIAN food, but I wasn’t alone. Everywhere I looked, there were countless bears dressed in animal outfits. And they were all so chirpy! We’re talking dogs, and cats, and chicks. I may have even seen a gnome! It was frightening. Shhhh…. Keep this to yourself but…. I think I was on a bestiality fetish farm.

Then, to add insult to injury, I was completely unable to sleep in my new home. You try sleeping when your home keeps going “rrrrrr….KE-TUNK!!!!!...rrrrrr….. ke-tunk……screech screeeeeeeechhh!” It was terrible! If it wasn’t ke-tunking, then it was screeching. I overheard those bozos calling it “The King”. The king of what? Hunk of Junk crappy metal?!

I’ve since been returned to the car oven though it thankfully hasn’t been as hot. I’m beyond grateful for that. I’m not sure I have much more brain cells to kill off. Though I have to admit that I miss the King, weirdly enough. I had my eye on that bear in the seal outfit, and who knows what crazy positions a string doll and a seal could get themselves into? Kama Sutra ain’t got nothing on us! Because you know what? Beggars can’t be choosers, and Nos-Chin? He don’t discriminate. OW!!!!