Shit-ucking!

So everyday you learn something new. That’s life right? The ever-growing circle of knowledge that lends itself to your self-consciousness and intellect and……. Oh who the fuck am I kidding? Sometimes you wake up and learn things that you wish you hadn't. Fuck the ever growing circle of knowledge! I want to remain ignorant and stupid!! Here was today’s lesson:

Today I woke up to discover that I have………… Cankles! CANKLES!!!!!!

I. HAVE. FUCKING. CANKLES.

Why god, why?!!! When did I get to the point where I have cankles and didn't notice? I almost feel like I need to take a chisel, pound away at my ankles just to get a very visible, very discernable indent of space to show that yes indeed, I have calves AND ankles.

This just seems unduly cruel. I mean, I've already resigned myself to the fact that I have drumstick thighs that could rival those of mutant turkeys, but to add cankles on top of it all? That just harsh! This is why I don’t believe in god. Because I cannot believe in a higher power that would ever give me cankles! TAKE THAT! HAH!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go complete today's To-Do list: an amalgamation of hiding my face in shame and trying on everything I own to see what has a slimming effect on my newly discovered body part.

Sigh.