Bros and Cheesaritos before hos!

It’s me, Nos-Chin. I know, I know, I haven’t been around for a while. To be frank, my dating chronicles have been thin lately.

Why, you ask?

Meet E-moe. E-moe is my best friend. A few weeks back, we met at Club Malibu, boozing it up, trying to mack on the ladies. As usual, I was having zero luck so I bought the guy next to me a beer. Enter E-moe. Turns out E-moe and I have a lot in common. E-moe likes music like My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy. E-moe likes to wear tight, tight pants. E-moe likes to cry himself to sleep. He also weeps while he plays the guitar. E-moe likes to wear his hair long and swept to the side. When he has money, he will dye part of it blond, and leave the rest pitch black. E-moe likes to wear eyeliner and paint his nails black.

As for me, well… I don’t like or do any of that, but still, E-moe and I have a lot in common. We’re both lonely, pathetic bachelors. And you’d be amazed how misery unites people.

So E-moe and I have been hanging out a lot. We’re bros! Bitching about women, hammering back beers, ahhh, it was the life. I was starting to believe that I didn’t need women. Bros for life!

That’s until E-moe met her.

E-moesha.

E-moesha likes music like My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy. E-moesha likes to wear tight, tight pants. E-moesha likes to cry herself to sleep. She also weeps while she plays the guitar. E-moesha likes to wear her hair long and swept to the side. E-moesha has part black/part blonde hair. E-moesha has black nails and wears eyeliner.

The two of them figure that they are meant to be because E-moesha is E-moe with the letters “sha” added onto the end. Shit, go figure, eh? What are the damn chances?

But now, E-moe can’t go to the bar because he is crying with “his girl”. E-moe doesn’t want to bitch about women anymore. He just wants to share eyeliner and nail polish with E-moesha. E-moe doesn’t want to drink beers anymore because it interferes with his and her “misery time”.

FUCKING ASSHOLE.

So it’s just Nos-Chin once again. One is the loneliest number you’ll ever do….