Amateur Poetry from people I used to know....

I've got a cocktail weinie in my pants,
He wants to come out and dance!
Maybe he will do the fox trot,
As he gets closer and closer to your crotch.
He wants to get to know you better,
He wants to get inside your sweater.
I asked him what he wants to do,
He said he wants to get inside of you.
Oh baby, come play with my weinie,
If you don't, I will become a meanie.
The weinie is going to blow,
So don't you be too slow...
Or I will be forced to let my little pickle,
Let out a great white trickle
On my HAND...

And yet another one....

Laura Ly is honestly one of the coolest in the country
But on a list, unfortunately, she ranks one under me
For I have seen the end of times in which I paint
And will coach little kids basketball, make them work, and make them faint
But on the side I work at rogers video
And get free dvd’s with surround sound stereo
And little Laura works all day, while Jay mostly has play
In more ways than I can say – just kidding – eh
But rockmelon keeps striving and surviving
Contriving, and diving into her life that is spiraling
Listening to guys that have one extra finger
Who play good music with their good lead singer
So Ms. Ly still takes one title
Who can tell? - “Well,” said Jay, “I’ll tell.”
She is the rockmelon with whom no one can compete
Honey dew, cantelope, and watermelon – we can eat
And she undeniably rocks them all
And from there – indeed – from there, she can never fall.