So today, I am feeling paranoid. And annoyed. Why? Because today, I am playing the role of diagonal head. In fact, I am going to be playing the role of diagonal head until I take a visit down to the neighbourhood barbershop and re-join the ranks of the straight heads.
What are the advantages of being a diagonal head? Well….. NOTHING! Nothing except a raging case of paranoia. And I’m of the opinion that having a raging case of paranoia keeps me on my toes. I now have the reflexes of a ninja! HEY-YA!
But I digress. Or do i? I’m not sure that I have a point today, other than I am paranoid and annoyed! I’m also going through a severe case of writer’s block. And I’m hungry! Super duper hungry! Sons of Dis, I am wracked with ailments and complaints!
So I will leave you with some things I’ve learned recently:
1) During a job interview, when asked about your volunteer experience, DO NOT blurt out - all haughtily- “I don’t volunteer!” This will likely diminish your chances of getting the job.
2) Don’t return to the same hairstylist after she doesn’t cut your hair straight. Don’t return to the same hairstylist after she doesn’t cut your hair straight a second time. Don’t return to the same hairstylist after she doesn’t cut your hair straight a THIRD time. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me three times, shame on poncho. “Dump me once, shame on you. Dump me seven times, shame on me.”
3) If you don’t have to go, don’t force it out. You’ll likely tear up your bumhole and still be paying for that mistake 5 days later.
4) Be careful when you invent a game titled “Help me pick out my next book!” It’ll probably be a while before you read a book you’ve actually chosen yourself.
5) Juno’s Cunt is a great way to curse.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
You don't know what book you are supposed to read next. that's why I pick them out. I let you give advice, that's enough interferance as it is. Hmmmphfff
Juno's Cunt????
Post a Comment