Proust Questionnaire

So Vanity Fair has a monthly feature called the Proust Questionnaire. The Questionnaire is a series of questions posed to famous celebrities (authors, actors, politicians, etc…) about their thoughts, lives, and experiences. As you might gleam from the name, the questionnaire is named after Marcel Proust who answered two similar questionnaires throughout his lifetime (once when he was 13, again when he was 20). The Proust Questionnaire is now a combination of the two questionnaires he completed and when Miss Nihilist came across this wonderful feature, she thought, “fuck this! I’m famous! I’m going to take the Proust Questionnaire!” What followed was an incredible self-journey full of twists and turns, down canals and back alleyways, into the deep crevasses of the heart and soul. When I finally emerged from such deep soul-searching, I was shocked and appalled to discover that I really don’t like apples all that much, and I like Spice Girls more than I let on.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A) Me and poncho on a ferry, the wind in our hair, the waves on the water, heading to a great destination. B) shopping at MOMA C) devouring a great book d) watching a much beloved band perform
What is your greatest fear?
Something tragic happening to a person I love dearly and having to be alone.
Which living person do you most admire?
Tim McIlrath. ‘Enuff said.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Ignorance. Shallowness.
What is your greatest extravagance?
Er… a teeny tiny thing called books…..
What is your favorite journey?
The one from my reading chair to my bookshelf. And return trip.
On what occasion do you lie?
When I’m talking to my mom. My sister. My co-workers. Hell, on what occasion DON’T I lie?
Which living person do you most despise?
Leah Miller. She is the epitome of what is wrong with the world. She singlehandedly sets back the feminist movement 100 years, and everytime she kisses Dallas (talks about Dallas, touches Dallas, talks to Dallas), a butterfly dies somewhere in the world. And then all the butterflies go into the afterlife and start a club, the “Leah Miller killed me with her shit karma” club.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
“Apparently….”, “Clearly.", "Frak!", "Aiyah."
What is your greatest regret?
Having that second cheeseburger last night. Whew. Settle down, Two Ton Tessie.
When and where were you happiest?
May 11th, 2005 somewhere along 103rd Ave and 114th street.
What is your current state of mind?
Crazy insane. I’ve got mad skillz yo.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My unfailing pessimism. And it’s angry cousin. Also, I could stand to fly my inner geek flag a bit higher.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Escaping from the clutches of the Ly family with some semblance of sanity.
If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
A donkey. I acknowledge that all this sarcasm will come back to bite me in the ass.
If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?
Err… isn’t that a variation on the question above? A barrister. Or maybe a solicitor.
What is your most treasured possession?
My books. My ipod. My journals. My stories.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
We live in a civilization where 1 in 4 people in North America (the most effluent, literate continent in the world) did not read a single book during 2007. A civilization that is so bombarded with technology and gadgets that people are turning to murder (murder!) for something to do simply because they are bored with their lives and all the possibilities available to them. We live in a world where parents are more concerned with buying their pre-teenage children cellphones and ipods than teaching them the simple value of please and thank you. The lowest depth of misery is all around us. Turn on the tv, watch a reality television show. Look to your neighbours. Look at the drivers around you on the road.
Where would you like to live?
Vancouver Island. On a boat.
What is your favorite occupation?
Reading, listening to music.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Angry sarcasm.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
Patience, understanding, compassion, and the capabilities to transcend titles such as boyfriend/husband and be a fully embodied Partner.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
The ability to be a Woman. Not a sissy girl, not a woman when defined next to a man, a Woman. Self-made, self-defined, self-empowered Woman.
Who are your favorite writers?
Markus Zusak, Patricia Briggs, Megan Mccafferty.
Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Max Vandenburg. Liesel Meminger. Rudy Steiner.
Who are your heroes in real life?
Anyone who stays positive in the face of dire circumstances. Anyone who has made an indelible mark on this earth and its history.
What is it that you most dislike?
Egg, squid, mackerel, and scallop. I’ve learned to tolerate the scallop, but the squid and mackerel are shit outta luck.
How would you like to die?
Quick and painless- surrounded by my partner, our children, and our grandchildren.
What is your motto?“Life’s a bitch… make lemonade.” Or something like that.