You get an A+!

Good day ladies and gents! It’s a checklist today, so get out your pens and pencils…. Got them ready? Okay, let’s start:

Have you done any of the following sometime in the past, today, or plan to do any in the near future….?

• Cut someone off in traffic? Or raced down the closed lane and cut into the lane that continues simply because you didn’t want to have to wait your turn?
• Bitched about someone at work despite the fact that you are guilty as charged of the same crime?
• Taken up two parking spots in a parking lot that is busier than a whore’s twat? Or better yet, parked in the driveway of a shopping centre because you couldn’t walk the extra 20 feet to the door? Or parked in the handicapped spot?
• Made someone wait or do extra work even though this someone is doing YOU a favour?
• Interrupted someone while they were talking because you couldn’t wait your turn? Or talked ad nauseum about yourself? Or even better, talked to a person while they were on the phone because you were simply too important to wait?
• Complained about someone’s house, or their hospitality, while you were a guest in their home?
• Taken for granted something nice someone has done for you, without offering a thank you for their efforts?
• Cut in front of someone already in line?
• Dumped someone named Nos-Chin who just wanted the pleasure of company from someone of the female persuasion?
• Called someone during dinner, or any time during the day actually, to sell them something, and REFUSED to take a polite “no” as an answer? Or when someone doesn’t speak English, keep asking to speak to “the lady of the house?”.
• Loudly spit in public? Perhaps, over your balcony while you are having a giant loud party with your stupid friends?
• Let your dogs run rampant, and go wherever, in the yards of houses you don’t own? Not train your dogs to shut the hell up?
• Blasted your car music at ungodly hours of the night? Not give a damn whether your neighbours are sleeping, or whether you wake them up?
• Been too lazy to lock your doors the quiet way? Instead relying heavily on your key fob, subjecting your poor neighbours to the incessant BEEP BEEP of your car horn?
• Not bothered to remember your neighbours’ names, despite the fact that you regularly take money from them?!!
• Taken two seats on the bus, completely ignoring the feeble senior citizen standing beside you who is desperately clutching to the bus bar, trying not to fall down? Or just ignored the fact that the bus is completely packed like a sardine can?
• Talked loudly on your cellphone while in a bookstore?

Well, if you have done one, or more, of the above things….. Congratulations!!!!!!

YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE. YOU’RE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL. And there is a good chance that your name is either Randy, Grant, The German, Lydia, or Scarlet. And yes, people name their kids “The German”.