Tuesday, May 27, 2008

My new column: Unsolicited Advice

Q: I recently met a girl and we fell in love; she’s pretty and caring and loves me dearly. There’s only one problem: she has two tattoos on her back and they really bother me.
Worse, I find it bothers me more and more.
Am I being too judgmental? I really love her, but I can’t seem to get past her tattoos.
-Inky View

Dear Inky View:
I suggest that you be honest with her. Tell your girlfriend that her tattoos bother you because you find them distasteful, and broach the subject of tattoo removal with her. Give your girlfriend the opportunity to dump you for being a judgmental git who doesn’t seem to understand the very simple concept: her body = her tattoos. Unless she has a swastika tattooed on her back (in which, what the hell are you doing dating a nazi anyway? Judgmental and inappropriate taste in women? God, you are a catch!), her body art does not concern you, especially body art she received prior to meeting you. I suggest you date someone in Communications instead. Everyone knows that women in Communications are stuck-up bitches who would never tattoo their bodies.

No need to thank me, you’re very welcome for the advice.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Nazis with body art, ooooo, whats next, communists with poodles, yuck. But I like the advice, communications girls rock. They are hot.