I'll take "Rhymes with Fear" for $400 Alex.

Today as I was sitting at my desk working (I swear, really!), a giant lightning strike caused the building lights to flicker and turned off my computer. Luckily I wasn’t working on this blog entry, only work, and didn’t lose anything too precious. Someone I work with mentioned that the lights turned off while she was walking in the pedway, and I immediately thought “Oh shitz! I’d pee my pants if that happened to me”. Why? Because I’m a firm believer in the power of Depends? Maybe. Or could it be because I am deathly afraid of the dark? That sounds a little more accurate. Yes, there you have it.

I, Miss Nihilist, am afraid of the dark. I sleep with a nightlight.

Go ahead, laugh, get your jollys out. Yes, I’m 25 years old. No, I don’t suck on a pacifier when I go to sleep. Yes, I’m a Toys R Us Kid.

I am afraid of the dark. But I am also afraid of spiders (a fear that is universal because it is age-appropriate regardless of how old you are-HA!). But it has got me thinking about fears. Pretend this is my Halloween entry (7 months late, or 5 months early – you decide: glass half empty or full), what are you afraid of? I am obsessively, mindlessly, and deathly afraid of the following things:

1) Clowns, dolls, masks, mimes. Basically anything with a painted on face that doesn’t change.
2) Old people. They really make me uncomfortable. I realize this makes me ageist, and frankly I am not comfortable subscribing to any “-isms”, but old people make me even more uncomfortable. I think it’s the way they smell, and how frail they are. I don’t plan on tackling them, but it still freaks me out all the same.
3) Emotional, caring, potentially tender moments with my parents. Don’t go there! It is scientifically proven that evolution has made Chinese people devoid of tender emotions. Don’t make us go against our nature. It’s like asking a snake to make you pancakes. Im-fucking-possible!
4) Heights. ‘nuff said.
5) Throwing stuff out. You never know when you might need it! You want to see my report card from Grade 1? You got it! Nevermind that is says I was difficult, even back then. You want to see a report I wrote in grade 11, you got it! However, if you want to see some letters from my internet “boyfriend” who went to jail, you’re out of luck.
6) Being a boiled frog for the rest of my life.