Dead yet?

To honour the end of my Lord of the Rings marathon, I present you with the following:

Things I learned from watching all 3 Lord of the Rings movies:
1) It is completely unnecessary to check whether characters are in fact dead. If any character appears to have any sort of ailment at all (including but not limited to ingrown hairs, paper cuts, and amputated limbs), assume that they are dead and proceed with the following:
- Burn them alive OR
- Leave them for orcs to violate
2) It is perfectly normal to have your eye colour change from brown to blue and back again. Not to worry if this happens, you’re still the prettiest character there is.
3) If you are the lowly gardener, don’t expect any accolades from anyone. Ignore the fact that you did all the work, and the other guy just laid there and whined. Frodo will always get the glory. It doesn’t pay to be Robin to someone’s Batman.
4) If you really want to get someone’s attention, yell “FRO-DO” in slow motion. Guaranteed someone will turn your way.
5) If you are Faramir, you’re automatically 150% cooler than any other character there is.
6) Wearing ridiculously ugly head ornaments to see the love of your life after a lengthy separation is a-ok! It’s even encouraged!

Surprisingly enough, I learned more watching 4 movies of Saw than I ever did during the 11 hours of Lord of the Rings. Go figure!

My current mood: I want to clutch my Dexter dvd boxset to my chest and hiss at people who try to come near. “MY preciousssssssssssssss”………