This is the first in a series of postings I have lovingly dubbed “I hate….”. I won’t insult your intelligence by outlining what the series of postings will be about. But for those of you who enjoy having your intelligence insulted (yes, you!), it is about things I hate. There.

I hate people who are incapable of being on time. People who are chronically late. I understand that sometimes being late cannot be avoided. You had car trouble, there was traffic, your cat vomited (or baby, or dog, or any creature that has the capacity to vomit often. In my case, my Jinnee…), a meteorite fell from the sky and permanently damaged your legs; reasons like the ones I have outlined are legitimate reasons for being late. I will accept them. Or a reasonable facsimile of them. I am not unreasonable, I understand that lateness is sometimes inevitable. However, that being said, I hate people who claim bullshit reasons for being late and make no apologies for it. Even more than that, I hate those who claim that being late is a character trait, that it is characteristic of them. You know the argument “you know me…”. Yes I know you and frankly I think you suck shit. People are capable of being on time. People who are considerate of other people’s time and schedule are on time. It takes you 25 minutes more than the normal person to get ready to leave the house? THEN GET READY 25 MINUTES EARLIER. It’s a simple solution unless you are brain dead or bitchy. Are you stupid and idiotic? Or are you a downright asshole? Because those are the only two true reasons for being chronically late and disrespecting the time of those around you. So which one is it?

Being late is not an innate trait. It is a learned trait and it is a trait that shows disrespect for those who waste time waiting for you. I know several people who never apologize for being late and it is such a blatant sign of disrespect that it makes me want to stab out their eyes and yank out their tongues. These people don’t even give reasons for being late, they simply say “you’ve been waiting for half an hour? Oh, that is not long. Wait some more”. The audacity of it is appalling and the overwhelming rudeness and selfishness just makes my head spin 360 degrees and makes split pea soup come spewing out of my mouth. It is completely disrespectful and inconsiderate. I mean, who out there truly believes that he/she is important enough that people should willingly and patiently wait half an hour- or more- for his/her presence? They need to get a fucking lobotomy. And grow up.