Wow! I didn't post a thing during the entire month of December. I suppose that is what busy working people do! Not post on their blog because they are busy actually working! Wow, what a phenomenon! I am unsure if I am glad or sad that I have joined this busy throng of people too busy to blog about various different subjects.

Moving on..... here is my first blog of 2007. Memorable!

My new years epiphany is that life is about being an insecure, attention seeking, approval seeking little wimp. That is it. That is life in a nutshell. Let me explain... when you are a child, you are the apple of your parents eye. You adore them, you look up to them, or at the very least, you constantly seek their approval through your actions. Whether it is going to University and become that doctor, or marrying someone who meets their approval (ie: handsome, rich Chinese doctor with potent sperm for lots of grandchildren), children always do things, consciously or not, in order to please thier parents or gain their parents' approval. This includes the little things like cleaning up your toys, and obeying your parents' orders because to not obey means that you fall out of their favour and they become angry with you. No child wants their mom or pop to be mad at them. As they get older, children who are morphing into adults, or adults in general, lean away from the approval of their parents and start living their own lives. However, the desire to be liked and appreciated and approved of never leaves us. It merely transfers from one sphere of influence to another. Instead of making decisions and executing actions according to how your parents would react, you start feeling overwhelmed and influenced by your workplace (for example). Your boss doesn't recognize your potential? You feel crushed. You feel hurt when you are overlooked for a position or aren't thanked for your work. You feel insecure at work and are aware of every whispered conversation, strange glance, or misspoken word. It is the same crushing humiliation that you felt when your parents were mad at you. Suddenly you are working harder in order to be noticed more, putting in overtime hours, sticking your nose so far up that ass that it is permanently brown, simply to be noticed. Hence, life is about being an insecure, attention seeking, approval seeking wimp. If it is not approval from your parents, or your boss and co-workers, it is from your friends, or your significant other, or yet another party in your life. Everyone's perception of themselves is coloured in part by those around us. No matter how small or insignificant, that influence is there. Those who claim otherwise, who claim that their actions are based entirely on themselves, motivated by their desires and not the approval from others, is lying to themselves and to everyone else. That influence is there, no matter how small. To everyone, there is that someone, or someones, who you consistently strive for attention and it is that same someone who can make you feel as though you just walked on water or swam through shit.

Life's a bitch, isn't she?